Why do the Sweaty Socks get to see more of it than we do? Well, when I say "see" from what the BBC say it's gonna be cloudy as fuck up there tomorrow (just like yesterday and the day before that), so in truth they'll get to see bugger all - hahahaha! Stick that you Sweaties. Can't get rid of the fuckers can we? Give them their independence, now that the price of oil has come down, that's what I say. And the Welsh, they can frack off as well. Do you remember Max Boyce? What a boring Welsh twat he was. About the only Welsh punter who's ever done anything decent is that bloke who pissed off to Patagonia and set up a mini-Wales down there - that's about the sort of distance I like between me and the Welsh, thousands of fucking miles and a vast area of ocean.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...