Fuckin hot isn't it? I've got a fuckin fur coat to wear in this bastard weather as well. Sweating like a fuckin glassblower's arse I am. Stayed up into the cool late of night with me Dad to watch that England vs Japan Wimmin's World Cup Semi Final yesterday. What a fucking disappointment that was. Not one of the England players looked like a proper lesbian or nothing. They all looked so, erm, normal. Not like the ladies in the movies, high heels, suzzies, loads of lippy, lots of make up on. They have a great old time in the showers that lot. The running around before hand bit is just a "preamble" to when the real fun starts later. But this England lot actually looked like they were enjoying the football for Christ's sake. The Japs were a different kettle of fish altogether. They did look like proper full on Tenko Cell Block H lezzers, every single on of them. I'm sure at least one or two of them had a cock. I mean why were they protecting their "special area" at free kicks like that otherwise? If I was a woman, which I'm not, I'm a Border Terrier, I'd be covering up me tits at a free kick, wouldn't you? You don't want a big heavy casey ball hitting them at 50 miles an hour do you? Can you imagine that? You'd be straight off the pitch to the physio to get them rubbed down with liniment or something wouldn't you? Or wintergreen, or whatever he's got handy really. A bit of baby oil, maybe. If there's nothing else in his kit bag he must have a bit of baby oil in there, for emergencies like. Probably a couple of packets of paracetamol as well. And some emergency mascara and a hairbrush, in case you win and they want to interview you straight after the game. And another thing, this game was played on a proper pitch, with goals and a crowd and everything. No jumpers for goalposts, and one pervy old man and his dog watching from the sidelines. I couldn't fuckin believe it. Of course we got beat, unlucky injury time own goal it was. So there's quite a few similarities with the men's game there. As well as the fact that half the team seemed to play for Man City.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.