Skip to main content

When Trump says Jump !

I see Donald Trump told Boris Johnson to jump last week! Boris then wittily replied - "how high?"

It's about Sir Kim Darroch's candid assessment of the Trump administration. It was he said - quote - inept and dysfunctional.

I imagine the conversation between Trump and BoJo went something like this.


Boris, I don't like that guy Sir Tim. He's not doing me, I mean the UK any favors.

Crikey, I think you mean Sir Kim, don't you Donald?

Yeah that Sir Jim guy. Get ridda that bum. His numbers don't look great.

Crumbs you mean Sir Kim, not Sir Tim, nor Sir Jim. Whaddya - sorry what do you - want me to do?

I want you to jump big guy, I want you to jump when I say so, and dump that asshole.

Cripes I can do that. How high do you want me to jump Don?

It's a BIG number, a really BIG number,  I'm thinking forxty.

Forxty?

Yeah, about that. It's somewhere between forty and sixty feet.

Right, crikey, crumbs, cripes, OK. I'll do it. But I wanna - sorry - want a trade deal.

See that girlfriend of yours, Laura Kuenssberg, she's kinda cute. She's part of the deal OK!

Blimey - I'll see what I can do. A forxty foot jump,  plus Laura Kuenssberg to be phased in by Oct?

You got it fella. - remember your're playing with the big boys now. Nice hair by the way.

Woof !

Popular posts from this blog

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too

My Mate Frank

Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...

RIP Frank Carson

It's a little known fact that Frank Carson actually got into comedy purely by chance. When he was a young man, he was a church bell-ringer in Northern Ireland, but he was so bad at it that every time he rang the bells, everyone immediately burst out laughing. It was the way he tolled them. Pooh count: two, and one of them a cracker that has your name on it Frankie. You can pick it up from Pearly Gates reception on your way in.