Peppa Pig, box ticker, tuppence licker

I see Peppa Pig has joined the ranks of politically correct bollocks. This news comes after a pressure group in the USA gathered more then 24,000 signatures to push a lesbian agenda.

It's heart warming isn't it, when you consider the population of the USA is 339,000,000 million. So a pressure group that makes up just 0.006 percent of the population has won the day.

The tail is wagging the dog.

Penny Polar Bear draws two female Polar Bears in dresses before turning to Peppa and saying: “I’m Penny Polar Bear. I live with my mummy and my other mummy. One mummy is a doctor and one mummy cooks spaghetti. I love spaghetti.”

How does your mummy(s) feel about cucumbers? Well they usually buy 2, because you can always eat 1.

How long before Peter Polar Bear says I live with my two daddys. Ones a bit theatrical and designs costumes. The other daddy is outrageously camp and loves ballet.

Stay woof!

Glasto

You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.

my Mum, your Dad

It's a new reality show FFS Endless permutations My Mum, your Dad My Mum, your Mum My Dad, your Dad My Mum, my Dad + your Dad My Mum, your Mum + your Dad Stay woof

it's bin day

I love a by election but only for the nutters who stand in them. I expected the Monster Raving Loony Party but there's a new kid on the block ... Count Binface. So i've been inspired to stand myself as his buddy, Count Benny of Thejets. Just like my inspiration Sir Elton, I'm still standing. My policies include:- Lowering taxes on dog food Campaigning for more poo bins Compulsory banning of cats Gotta go, I ate something 'dodgy' earlier in the park and I think I'm about to lose my deposit! Stay woof

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