Doggy census 2022

The questions are here for the 2022-23 survey.

Are you?

a boy doggy
a girl doggy
a prefer not to say kind of doggy

How would describe your colour?

a white doggy
a black doggy
a brown doggy
a black & white doggy, I'm a Dalmatian
a prefer not to say kind of doggy

If you smell another doggy's bottom, would you?

walk away calmly after giving a brief or perfunctory sniff
give it one up the chutney
prefer not to say

What colour is your lead?

blue
pink
prefer not to say

What is your preferred pronoun?

him/he
her/she
what the f**k is a pronoun?
prefer not to say

What is LGBT ?

a kind of sandwich
a load of bollocks
the tail is wagging the dog
prefer not to say

Stay woof in 2023 you know it makes sense

Glasto

You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.

my Mum, your Dad

It's a new reality show FFS Endless permutations My Mum, your Dad My Mum, your Mum My Dad, your Dad My Mum, my Dad + your Dad My Mum, your Mum + your Dad Stay woof

it's bin day

I love a by election but only for the nutters who stand in them. I expected the Monster Raving Loony Party but there's a new kid on the block ... Count Binface. So i've been inspired to stand myself as his buddy, Count Benny of Thejets. Just like my inspiration Sir Elton, I'm still standing. My policies include:- Lowering taxes on dog food Campaigning for more poo bins Compulsory banning of cats Gotta go, I ate something 'dodgy' earlier in the park and I think I'm about to lose my deposit! Stay woof

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