The two-legged people watched that Embarrassing Bodies thing tonight, have you ever seen it? I had to look away - "tonight we've got Mark from Edinburgh who has a penis the size and shape of a banyan tree and Ellie from Northallerton who has a ladies special place the width of the Mersey Tunnel." Followed by: "Mark says he's always been acutely embarrassed by having a willy the size, shape and texture of a banyan tree since he was seven. So much so that he's never been to see a doctor about it. Up until now when he's decided to whop it out in front of the nation's television cameras and let Dr Pixie poke it with a stick." I can't tell you what Ellie had to say, but it's put me right off my dog chew I can tell you.
