Is on today. I'd love to go horse racing me. They do massive poohs horses don't they? Bloody great enormous things. Me Dad took me for this walk in the woods once and we came across one, I thought it was a roundabout at first. But then I realised that roundabouts don't generally steam. This bugger was giving off more vapour than a Japanese nuclear reactor, and it was also of a similar size. Have you ever seen that programme on the telly Man vs Food? It was Dog vs Pooh that day, bloody lovely it was. I've still got the t-shirt somewhere, there's only been me and a Great Dane called Spike that's got one. Happy days....
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...