It was a rather chilly 1C when I took my morning stroll round the Valley Gardens this morning, I have to say that the new haircut does give me a certain sartorial eloquence that the ladies seem to find irresistible. Met Holly, a seven month old jail bait border/cairn terrier cross with curves in all the right places if you get my drift. Seven months, that's what in two-legged terms? Four. Christ, I really must get a grip. And another thing, is it just me or does Gadaffi bear a striking resemblance to ageing Middlesbrough rocker Chris Rea? The Libyan despot certainly wants wiring up to something, but I feel that the moon isn't it. Auberge. Pooh count: a bracing brace so far, although the day is yet young.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...