Elizabeth Taylor has got divorced again today I see. Only this time it's from life, aged 79. I wonder if they'll bury her in an Adidas shoebox at the bottom of our garden too? It's getting a bit crowded down there, it'll be standing room only before long. Still there's no point getting all maudlin about it is there, so I'll tell you a joke: What's red and invisible?.....No tomatoes!!!!
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.