I'm in it again. Just because I ate a teeny weeny bit of rear chunder on the morning constitutional. If she fed me properly then we wouldn't have to go through all this rigmarole would we? I know for a fact that Spike up the road gets a full English with three rounds of toast every morning. What do I get? Bugger all that's what. Not even a lightly boiled egg and a few soldiers. Balls all. So I can hardly be blamed for tucking into a few terrier truffles when I'm out and about can I? Pooh count: four.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...