...is shit isn't it? I only watch it to keep the two-leggeds happy. Talk about far-fetched as well, not like reality TV shows such as DeadEnders or Corrie. They show it like it really is. I mean, when was the last time you saw Ken Barlow toting a magic screwdriver? Exactly, you aren't going to get that in Wetherby or wherever it is they live are you? No. Endex. Or large jellyfish-like monsters supping at the bar in the Rovers, well not since Fred died anyway. It's all baloney. A waste of the licence payer's money, that's what me Dad calls it. And bollox as well, he calls it that sometimes. Pooh count: a comfy seven (unless you count the runny one down by the cycle path in which case it's fifteen).
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...