I Love The Royal Family Me

This morning I found a pooh in the woods that looks a bit like the Duke of Edinburgh, so I've posted that off to the happy couple, I do hope they like it. Long and thin, with a bit of grey fluff stuck to one end it was. I could have put it on eBay, but I thought no, that'll be something to adorn any mantelpiece that will. I was going to have it mounted on a polished wooden plinth but there simply wasn't the time. So I just popped it into a clingfilm roll holder and DHL'd it off. Is nothing sacred though? Sponsorship is creeping into everything these days, with tomorrow's wedding taking place at Westminster Santander as it's now called. I'm fully expecting the buffet to be sponsored by Iceland and have Jason Donovan and that stupid Kerry Katona tart dancing round the living room at Buck House passing round the vol-au-vents, an absolute bargain at two quid for three dozen, whilst stocks last. And call me bitter if you like, seeing as I just got edged out at the last minute, but what's Posh Spice got an invite for? She's hardly going to eat anything is she? Waste of money if you ask me. I'd have been in my element on the other hand truffling round the floor for "accidentally" dropped sausage rolls and bits of frangipane. I do feel a bit sorry for Harry though, fancy not even getting an invite as he's neither a friend (being ginger) nor family (allegedly). Still, it's nice to see Diana's ring getting an airing again isn't it?