Nice walk around the pinewoods yesterday morning, got let off my lead and immediately rolled in fox shit, or Allure by Emporio Armani as I like to call it. Locked out of the house until teatime for some reason, the classless bastards. No sign of Julia Bradbury on CountryFile last night, and I see that another one of the lady presenters is also "in foal". It must be the sight of all them farm animals bang at it that gets them going, I reckon. Watched Antiques Roadshow, barked at the ginger kid from over the road and bedded down for the night on the settee, I don't want my basket stinking of fox shit in the morning do I? Pooh count: 6, average.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.