No it's not an April Fool. Chinese markets will be closed Monday/Tuesday as the nation celebrates the Quingming Festival, also known as the tomb sweeping holiday. Basically it's a celebration that spring has arrived and you go and clean up your dead ancestors grave, take them their favourite food (probably sausages) and some wine to sacrifice to them along with some paper resembling money. This is all burned in the hope that the deceased are not lacking food and money. Well they will be now that you just burnt the stuff won't they you soft bugger. Kites are also a feature of Quingming. You still think I'm joking don't you? I bet you can't resist Googling it though can you? Pooh count: one babies arm and a couple of small ones.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...