A farmer got married and was riding home from church with his new bride in a horse and cart. Part way home the horse stumbled before righting itself and carrying on. "That's once" muttered the farmer quietly, shaking his head. Soon after the same thing happened again. "That's twice" said the farmer quietly, again shaking his head whilst his new wide sat quietly by his side. Before they made it back to the farm the horse stumbled for a third and final time. The farmer pulled up, slowly retrieved a shotgun from underneath his seat and calmly shot the horse dead. Aghast his bride said "well I think that was a little uncalled for, just because the poor thing stumbled a few times." The farmer sighed and muttered "that's once".
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.