Nice little walkies round the Valley Gardens yesterday, interrupted by me Dad wittering into his mobile phone all the way with me just keen to admire the natural beauty of the landscape and roll in some shit given half the chance. From what I could gather front-end tightness in London wheat (may closed a fiver over July last night) is down to a certain merchant being short cash against long futures and wanting to take delivery of the physical wheat. Which me Dad says ties in nicely with reports he's heard that they have been collecting ex-farm wheat on contract a month early pretty much all through the winter. The merchant involved? I couldn't quite catch it, it's a shame that nobody likes them though, just because their ear is in the wrong place. I'll send them one of my poohs in a jiffy bag, that'll cheer them up.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...