Just signed up for it and installed it on me laptop (they got me one of those little netbook things for Christmas in exchange for not pissing on the kitchen floor for a fortnight). Why does it sound like you're about to take a shuftie at what prizes are on offer in an episode of Bullseye? I used to love that programme me. "In one, going to the toilet's never a drag, with this leatherette-look colostomy bag..." They should get me one of those if they're that bothered about me pissing in the kitchen shouldn't they? The tight bastards. Pooh count, two, slowly, slowly catchy turdy.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...