Skip to main content

Skype

Just signed up for it and installed it on me laptop (they got me one of those little netbook things for Christmas in exchange for not pissing on the kitchen floor for a fortnight). Why does it sound like you're about to take a shuftie at what prizes are on offer in an episode of Bullseye? I used to love that programme me. "In one, going to the toilet's never a drag, with this leatherette-look colostomy bag..." They should get me one of those if they're that bothered about me pissing in the kitchen shouldn't they? The tight bastards. Pooh count, two, slowly, slowly catchy turdy.

Popular posts from this blog

Glasto

You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.

my Mum, your Dad

It's a new reality show FFS Endless permutations My Mum, your Dad My Mum, your Mum My Dad, your Dad My Mum, my Dad + your Dad My Mum, your Mum + your Dad Stay woof

it's bin day

I love a by election but only for the nutters who stand in them. I expected the Monster Raving Loony Party but there's a new kid on the block ... Count Binface. So i've been inspired to stand myself as his buddy, Count Benny of Thejets. Just like my inspiration Sir Elton, I'm still standing. My policies include:- Lowering taxes on dog food Campaigning for more poo bins Compulsory banning of cats Gotta go,  I ate something 'dodgy' earlier in the park and I think I'm about to lose my deposit! Stay woof