Nice walkies round Studley Royal yesterday. Learnt that swan pooh isn't for me. They say I'll eat anything, well now I've proven them all wrong. Swan pooh appears to be the Marmite of the pooh world, whilst other terriers around me were tucking in to a hearty swan pooh brunch with gusto, I found the whole thing a little too, erm, swanny. Which gave me a great idea for a TV show. MasterPooh. John Torode and Greg Wallace taste a variety of culinary delights dished up by dogs like me with our own special twist, if you know what I mean. Seared scollops with black pudding on a dog pooh purée followed by saddle of roast venison, "terrier truffles" and a dog pooh quinelle finished off with a palate cleansing white dog pooh mouse with chocolate sprinkles (no expense spared there). They could get Michel Pooh Jnr to assist. I think it'd be a nailed on winner that one.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.