Walkies was a quick scoot around the Valley Gardens this morning. Saw the usual three lovely little bitches out with their respective two-leggeds, including Sasha who is a particularly cute Lhasa Apso. As (bad) luck would have it I was mid-pooh at the time, and a particularly reluctant one at that, which isn't ideal when it comes to attracting the ladies. They didn't seem too impressed, so I gave them my "look how far I can piss up a lamppost" trick, a real crowd pleaser that one is normally, but even that failed to draw much interest. In desperation at this point I proffered them my pied de résistance back paws in the air two-legged bum scrape across the grass, which usually never fails to draw gasps of admiration from passers-by - one old lady fainted with joy at the sight of that once - but alas not on this occasion. Love is a fickle bastard at times I find.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.