Walkies was a quick scoot around the Valley Gardens this morning. Saw the usual three lovely little bitches out with their respective two-leggeds, including Sasha who is a particularly cute Lhasa Apso. As (bad) luck would have it I was mid-pooh at the time, and a particularly reluctant one at that, which isn't ideal when it comes to attracting the ladies. They didn't seem too impressed, so I gave them my "look how far I can piss up a lamppost" trick, a real crowd pleaser that one is normally, but even that failed to draw much interest. In desperation at this point I proffered them my pied de résistance back paws in the air two-legged bum scrape across the grass, which usually never fails to draw gasps of admiration from passers-by - one old lady fainted with joy at the sight of that once - but alas not on this occasion. Love is a fickle bastard at times I find.
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