Have more in common than you might think. Accosted by those hot nymphs, the Bichon Frisé bitches Ella and Maisie for a bit of no holes barred fun and frolics whilst walking round the Valley Gardens again this morning. They simply can't get enough of me. Fame you see, that's what it is that drives females horny. Even David Blunkett is apparently fighting women off with the proverbial excrement covered stick (a white one in his case of course - the stick not the pooh, you simply don't see it in white anymore do you). I bet even his dog is no stranger to a bit of "strange" tail, once the girls in the park recognise him off the telly. I'm reliably informed by me Dad that Shep off Blue Peter was the canine equivalent of Georgie Best. Crufts winners, he had them all, even a threesome with a couple of royal corgis on the bandstand in Hyde Park I understand. Fame is a heady aphrodisiac. And I've got it. Pooh count: a weight relieving four.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...