Me Dad tells me he was dragged out for breakfast down by the River Nidd on Sunday morning to a well-known cafe with delightful panoramic views. The odd rowing boat gliding past, a few ducks swimming by in the morning sunshine. What could be a more idyllic British Sunday morning scene to enjoy than that I hear you ask, whilst waiting for your breakfast to arrive. It was when breakfast finally did arrive that the problems started. At 11am I'd have thought that "a bacon bun and a cup of tea" would be just that. £5.75 for a bacon bun IS undoubtedly a bit toppy, but he decided to let it go on this occasion. Well, what he couldn't let go of, evidently, is a bacon bun accompanied by slices of strawberry, melon, orange and lettuce drizzled in some fancy lah-di-dah vinaigrette with a side order of chips. Chips, who ordered chips, who eats chips at 11am? And strawberry, melon, orange and bacon? The dirty bastards.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.