Have already forged into a commanding lead for this week's Turd of the Week award. What a bunch of low life scumbags they are. The only thing that surprises me about their antics is why they would think that anyone would be interested in anything left on Vanessa Feltz's voicemail. "It's Pizza Hut here Vanessa, we're running a bit late with your 84" deep crust hot 'n' spicy as the delivery truck's just lost it's back axle." Pooh count: two, a family-sized Toblerone and a Double Decker, just for Vanessa.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.