It could be an interesting Turd of the Week competition this week with British Unfairways, a very strong contender, now facing major opposition from News International. These two look like finishing well clear of Ukraine Customs and Faulty Airconditioning. The latter, amusingly, was tucked behind a hotel curtain (great place to put an air conditioning unit) and despite making strong whirring noises all night didn't actually push out any cold air at all. It was also remote controlled, so me Dad couldn't physically press any buttons to switch it off, but of course there was no remote control present. So he kind of got all the downside of a noisy air conditioning system running all night without any of the benefits of it actually keeping the room cool. Cool! Pooh count: a load lightening three so far. Groovy.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...