In a three way photo finish to a very exciting turd of the week award, Richard Branson defied top weight to get up on the line, beating Andy Murray on the nod into second with the bloody teachers a neck back in third. Branson is said to be "over the moon" to pick up the prestigious award for appalling service in the face of such stiff opposition. No clear favourite has emerged yet for this week's award although Americans in general could be in with a shout, Stevie Wonder is expected to run well with the blinkers on, and it's also highly possible that Ratko Mladic will defy a penalty to feature prominently in this week's race. By the way, what's the difference between David Haye and me Dad's trousers? Me Dad's trousers don't fall down every 3 minutes. Pooh count, a respectable four, one of which reminded me of a Yule Log. Except without the sprig of holly obviously.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.