Me Dad is back! He paid the ransom note and I'm back home with the two-leggeds. From what I can tell they had a good time and thought that Portugal was great. Until they got to the airport to find that in the food hall at Faro they were asking 14 euros for a cheeseburger! The robbing bastards. You can see why their economy is in trouble at those rates can't you? Needless to say there wasn't much of a queue. For that price I'd want it cooked at Gidleigh Park by that geezer with the funny arm, whatsisname? You know the one off the telly who looks like an overweight David Craig. I think he starred in The Italian Job and Get Carter. Or am I getting mixed up. If it was him then he must have had a "reverse Michael Jackson" colour change since, but I'm sure it's the same bloke. And he doesn't do the funny voice any more. "My name is Michael Caines" he gave that up years ago. Well I'd want him to be doing the flipping, lightly toasting me bun and arranging my gherkin at a jaunty angle for that sort of money. Probably with one of them big cocktail sticks stuck through the top of it and a stack of home-made onion rings on the side. That's what I'd expect for 14 euros, not some spotty Portuguese oik wiping his nose on the back of his hand and wrapping me burger up in Izal. Christ, what's the world coming to eh?
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.