Took me Dad to the Monet exhibition at the Tate Britain the other day and we stumbled across the famous Water Lilies. "Typical bloody French," me Dad said. "Lazy bastards - can't be bothered to do anything properly." I was about to explain that the emphasis on the subtle depiction of light in its changing qualities and the attempt to capture 'movement' on canvas with liberal brushstrokes culminated in what's universally accepted the world over as an impressionist masterpiece. But me Dad continued before I could open my mouth: "Only a lazy bloody Frog would let his garden pond get into that state."
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.