Scientists have apparently unravelled the entire genetic code of the potato, me Mum informs me. Exactly why she thinks I need to be armed with this information I'm not sure. I unravelled the entire genetic code of three cheese muffins carelessly left below waist height yesterday and got a kick up the arse and no tea for me troubles. Hopefully the scientists concerned will pick up more of a reward than that. A McDonald's spokesperson was heard to say "what's that got to do with me?" when given the news. "When they've unravelled the entire genetic code of salt and a chicken McNugget give us a call back," he added.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...