Yes folks, three years young today is what I am. I can't wait to open all my presents later, I wonder what they've got me? I do hope it's the iPad. Three is what, twenty one in human terms? Me Dad is probably going to take me out for a few pints, we'll go for a curry and end up in that new club in town, Springerfellows. The spaniels in there will do anything for a bit of bonio I hear. I'd better spruce myself up a bit, give the old 'nads a bit of a lick and see if I can do something about me pooh-encrusted collar before I get in amongst those puppies. Woohoo, bring it on, I haven't been this excited since next door's cat got knocked down by the bin lorry.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...