I'm frankly gutted to discover my name has been omitted from the Queen's New Year's Honours list. Lorraine Kelly and Stuart Hall get a mention so why not me? Not an OBE, a CBE or nothing. I think she's anti-Terrier. That's her off my Christmas Pooh list for next year that's for sure. She reeks of wee you know, and I heard that she has them corgis in bed with her too, the senile old duffer.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.