My mate Woody always used to chase people on a bike. So they took his bike off him. Then he just sat in the garden and barked all day. So they gave him his bike back 'cos they reckoned that his bark was worse than his bike. Pooh count: just the one, and no sign of that penguin wrapper yet either. Smokin....
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.