Has refused to stand down as England captain ahead of Euro 2012. That leaves him free to lead his troops into Poland, just like his hero did. A polished pooh on a plinth is in the post big boy. Did you read that story doing the rounds yesterday that a three year old girl wrote to Sainsbury's suggesting that they should change the name of their "Tiger" bread to "Giraffe" bread as the crust looked more like the latter than the former? And that's exactly what they are doing. Taking a leaf out of her book I've written (and I'm three just like her so I know that they're gonna take it seriously) to Asda suggesting that they rebrand their "colleagues" as "window licking mongs". I'll keep you posted.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...