Me Dad was telling me the other day about the time he was forced to sit in on a talk about sexism in the workplace. The woman doing the thing rattled on for about 3/4 hour about how and why this unpleasant archaic practice should be eradicated from the workplace in the modern day & age. At the end, she asked if there were any questions from the floor. Quick as a shot me Dad put his hand up and said "yes, will you make us a cup of tea and iron this shirt for me, love?" That's what he told me anyway, it's probably bollocks again like most of the stuff he comes out with. I'm still not entirely convinced that he did actually once come second in a sexy bum competition either. Pooh count: two, the most presentable one of which I'm sending to the FA as I hear that there's a vacancy going and I think it might be in with a shout.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...