Why did little Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Well not little Tommy obviously. A doctor goes into a hospital ward to see a pregnant lady, who has had terrible stomach cramps and fears for her unborn child. "Well, my dear, there's good news and bad news, which would you like first?" the doctor says. Bracing herself the lady opts for the bad news. "Well, we've run some tests and the bad news is that your baby has got ginger hair," the doctor says. "Oh no!" she sighs. "What's the good news?" The doctor replies, "It's dead."
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.