I see that the inventor of TV remote controls died today. Down the back of the settee he was. They tried turning his batteries around and smacking him against the coffee table to no avail. Emile Heskey has been released by Aston Villa. Back into the wild I assume? Didier Drogba is considering a move to China as he wants a new challenge, I hear. Nothing to do with the cash then Didier? Still, at least his football boots can be reunited with the six year old that made them. And finally, respect for Robin Gibb. Shortly before he died the doctors told him that he had a cancerous tumour, and asked him what he wanted to do. To which he replied ..."You should be lancing". Pooh count: a nice little threesome.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.