The Great Yorkshire Slug more like. The town is bastard gridlocked with coaches, cars, pick-ups and all manner of stationary modes of transport. All queueing up in the rain to get into the showground, even though the Farmer's Guardian are reporting on twitter that the car parks were already full at 9.30am. It looks like this year's event has been organised with the customary lack of panache and forethought by Harrogate Bastard Council. I vomit on Harrogate Bastard Council and their constant roadworks, and queues and rival bus companies running competing with each other on the same routes, under the same timetables, carrying two people each in from Wetherby every morning. Kiss my winnet-encrusted arse Harrogate Bastard Council. You are this week's clear winner of a polished pooh on a plinth.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...