As you probably know I'm a keen University Challenge sort of a Border Terrier, as I like to keep my paw in so to speak. Well I was shocked to watch last night's episode to see four spotty youths sit in bemused silence looking at each other and shaking their heads. The task before them was to name a piece of music played by a brass band. It was unmistakeably The Lord's My Shepherd, which they played almost all the way through. These lads were looking at each other as if you were asking them to name the original starting line up of the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band such was the look of incredulity on their spotty, puss-riddled faces. Come on, let's have it, urged Paxman. "Erm, Jerusalem?" came the response! No doubt these lads will move on to become captains of industry because Daddy's well connected in the City. An unpolished pooh on a plinth is winging it's way to the knobheads at Magdalen College, Oxford.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...