Felix Baumgartner has just found the ball from Chris Waddle's penalty in World Cup 1990. When asked to confirm once and for all what is the first thing that man is able to recognise on planet earth from space he said it was Katie Price's fanny. The BBC are investigating claims that Jeremy Beadle had a small hand in the Jimmy Savile scandal. Lance Armstrong has flown into New York to deny doping claims. It would have been more convincing if he'd used a plane, mind. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.