Skip to main content

Sports Personality Of The Year

Surprised that that little diving lad didn't get nominated, you know, what's his name....oh, it's on the tip of me tongue.....Suarez that's it! I tell you who was never going to be in the running, that twat that presented Match of the Day on Saturday night, struggling to come up with his name as well. No not Lineker, some other git, who's opening gambit was to tell us how many goals had been scored in the Premier League that day. Which is all very well unless the game that you are particularly interesting in is the last one on. So me and me Dad spent the entire programme trying to avoid adding up how many goals had been scored in total, so as to attempt to avoid our televisual entertainment being entirely ruined, only for this knob-head to introduce the game with "this is the last game on 'cos it had the fewest goals in it." Seeing as we already knew that 3 was the lowest number of goals scored that day, then this urinated all over our chips of enjoyment even more, especially when the score got to 1-1. So thanks for that Mr BBC Fuckwit Spoilsports Personality Of The Year, a polished pooh on a plinth is on it's way to you right now, you cockend.

Popular posts from this blog

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too

Fucking phone calls

Hey guess what - as well as hating fucking passwords, me dad hated automated voice systems too. Welcome to the WeDontGiveAShit Insurance helpline, to start off please type in your 16 digit account code followed by the hash key. Panics, finds number on a piece of paper, types 4 9 2 9 4 2 9 1 6 1 0 0 1 6 6 6 slowly. Sorry that account code is not recognised, did you forget the hash key? Please try again. Oh fuck I did that wrong it ends in 10 66 not 16 66, types number in again, followed by the # key. Press 1 for inquiries, 2 for claims, 3 for whatever and 4 for fuck knows. For all other inquiries please hold. Presses 2. Great, Press 1 for a new claim, and 2 for an existing claim. Presses 2 again. Moronic music plays. I'm Bored shit less already. OK, you are 4th in the queue, please hold. Moronic music starts on repeat. Still bored shit less; my patience is running out. OK, now enter your date of birth followed by the hash key. Types 26 03 1961 and then ...

Felines on the shirt ...

I wouldn't normally have anything to do with cats, but this is inspired. Bit like that doggy that looked like Hitler. Stay woof