The poor little lamb, has been banned from driving for failing to respond to police letters regarding his car clocked speeding. It wasn't his fault, says his solicitor. He didn't reply because he didn't understand the word "Constabulary" at the top of the letters so he didn't think that they were of any importance. I wonder how long it took them to dream that one up? They should try writing "Dear Mr Dirty Cheating Argie Bastard" at the top of them next time the police correspond with Mr Tevez, I suggest. I nearly choked on my pigs ear when I went on to read from his solicitor: "He is a footballer and in that regard he is relatively well-paid." Relatively well paid, eh? Well you could say that I suppose: Is that all?
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.