Despite the news that they've found that some supermarket "econoburgers" may contain as much as 29% horse, the Irish food safety authority tell us that there is no risk to health. How do they know that? Do these burgers come from approved suppliers or something? If anything is a surprise it's that there's actually 29% meat in these disgusting bloody things. I wouldn't give one to a human. Cue jokes that despite the news, sales remaining stable. Or a horse walks into a bap....Neigh. Me Dad went into McDonalds at lunchtime and asked for a quarterpounder, the spotty youth behind the counter said "do you want anything on it Mister?" Me Dad said yeah, I'll have a fiver each way please. Woof. He woke up to find a horse's head at the foot of the bed this morning. It was nothing to do with the Mafia, me Mum has just bought a new duvet set from Tesco's. Meanwhile Animal Right's have announced that they are changing their motto to "Meat is Redrum". Honest. Still, the one good thing to come out of all of this is at least it might stop all those sick Jimmy Saddle jokes from doing the rounds. Me Dad got chucked out of Tesco's earlier for wearing trainers. They've got a strict non runners policy in there apparently.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.