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The Royal Baby

Well, they reckon she's had the fucker, although by the looks of her on the telly last night she's still cooking up another one in there. "He's got a right pair of lungs on him," said Prince William. He obviously doesn't take after his Mother then. Went for a walk with me Dad this morning and we went past a squashed up carton of Ribena on the pavement, so I was straight over, as you do, but despite sucking as hard as I could all I could get out of it were a few little dribbles. Which is probably exactly what the baby's gonna feel like I reckon. And now that she's had it all the papers will go on about for ages is what's it gonna be called, our future King? I fancy Prawn Madras meself, but I don't suppose they'll go for it. There'll be a George in there I reckon, and probably a Phil too in honour of his Grandad - although they may miss out the "the Greek" bit. Who gives a shit? Well me actually, a polished pooh on a plinth is now winging it's way to Buck House. Glider building going well, thanks for asking.

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