Have you seen it? Covered in a massive tattoo it is. I couldn't believe it, what's she had that done for? So she can have a shag in the bushes without being spotted? And what's it going to look like 30 years from now? Like a double page spread out of an old copy of Gardener's World magazine that's been left on a park bench in the rain before a tramp used it to wipe his arse on, that's what. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.