Is it purely a coincidence that on the same day that it's confirmed that the "50 Shades of Grey" creator E L James has become the world's best-paid author, that J K Rowling announces that her next book is to be entitled "Harry Potter Chokes The Chicken"? I think not. I'm a bit excited today. Me Dad says he's got another parcel in work for me. What can it be? I've still got loads of ears left (they only give me one at weekend's the tight bastards. Me Dad say's I'm getting fat. Pot, fucking kettle, take a look in the mirror Lard Boy). They get sent to me by my best mates in the whole wide world, Thomas Bell the country's leading fertiliser merchant, so it can't be more of them surely and it's ages to Christmas yet. I'll let you know tomorrow....
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.