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Me Dad

Was telling me Mum last night that after years of struggling with her weight that the doctors have finally discovered what was wrong with his ex missus. It was all down to her ears, apparently. "Her ears, what've they got to do with it?" me Mum asked. "Well, they were so fucking good that they could hear the ice cream van coming from six streets away," me Dad said. Here's one for you. What's yellow and lies at the bottom of the Indian Ocean? It's sand. Why, what did you think I was going to say? Come on, have a fucking heart will ya. Woof....

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