Delia Smith

Caught ten minutes of her on the telly last night, whilst waiting for something better to come on. Of all the TV chefs in the world she must be right up there as possibly the worst, surely? She looks like the auntie that nobody likes, but you have to round to her house on Boxing Day for a sherry and a mince pie just for your Mum's sake. She has this horrified look of disgust on her face when she's preparing her food, like she's washing a tramps cock or something. And she talks to you like your a child. "Today I'm going to show you how to peel a potato..." Get to high fuck, in the kingdom Fuck, Delia. Keep on going straight through the Championship and into the Isthmian Premier League, there's a big match against East Thurrock United to play next week. There, there, don't cry you sour faced, talentless, condescending old bag...