Police investigating claims that tonight's friendly between Nigeria and Scotland at Craven Cottage was to be "fixed" are looking into suggestions that in exchange for throwing the game the Jocks were to be given 25 schoolgirls each. Woof. Me Dad reckons that he's already been told the score and can't wait for his winnings to be transferred into his bank account by his most loyal and trusted friend, the son of a Nigerian prince, who was tragically killed in a plane crash just weeks ago. He's sent them his bank details and a small administration fee just to cover the money transfer costs. Nah, he hasn't really. He said he knew it was a scam the minute that they said the Sweaty Socks were gonna win. Woof.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.