On reading the headline "Thousands Gather For Ferguson Funeral" to discover that the Jock twat is still with us and they were referring to some place in America. I was so disappointed that I simply had to go out and roll in some shit. All down the side of my neck and face it is. Me Mum said she will try and brush it off me later when it dries. Me Dad said that they should try and kick it off there and then, which I thought was a bit harsh. I probably won't get let off me lead for a couple of weeks now. The bastards. Sad to hear of the death of Sir Dicky Attenborough today. Ghandi star Ben Kingsley said that "millions were touched by him" and I thought "crikey, here we go again then, and he's not even cold yet." In other news today, they reckon that Ebola has arrived in the UK. Arsenal are apparently set offered him a 3-year contract. Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...