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The News And Other Jokes

"France tells citizens to flee ebola" was the headline in the paper today. I thought, fuck me, it's not like the French to run away at the first sign of trouble is it? Why did the Man Utd fan cross the road? To see how much a season ticket was at the Etihad. Me Dad was talking to this guy in the pub yesterday, and me Dad (mistakenly thinking that he's funny) says "What do you do if you see and epileptic having a fit in the bath" and before he could deliver the punchline a bloke sat a few feet away said "Do you mind, my son was an epileptic, and he died in the bath." Me Dad says "Oh, I'm sorry mate, it was only a joke, did he drown?" The bloke says "No, he choked to death on one of me socks." Woof.

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