The world of light entertainment has been rocked today by Lenny Henry's shock confession that he is a completely talentless twat. "Lenny felt that he was unable to hide this terrible truth from the public any longer," said his agent. The startling revelation sent shock waves around the BBC and ITV that other similarly talentless wankers might also break strict Equity rules and 'fess up that they are afflicted with the same tragic condition. Recent Mintel research suggests that as many as 2 in 5 celebrities could be secretly concealing a total lack of ability to do or say anything half fucking sensible. Holding back tears "a day comes when you can't just say 'Katanga' in a stupid voice and get away with it any longer, and that day is here today," Henry told reporters outside his London home. Dawn French was unavailable for comment.
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