"Singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell is in intensive care after being found unconscious at her Los Angeles home," say the BBC. Doctors are mystified as to what's wrong with her, and say that they probably won't know what she's got 'til she's gone. Woof. Still, at least the hospital get a new parking lot out of it. Yes, as you've probably guessed by this point, I'm bored shitless again today, still it's now only 10 minutes to tea-time, and I know that there's a sausage in the fridge with my name on it. I love sausages, they're just so "sausagey" aren't they? Nogger's dog's top five foods, hmmmm. There is indeed food for thought....5) sausage 4) double sausage 3) sausage and gravy 2) double sausage and gravy 1) sausage, sausage, gravy, sausage and gravy.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...